May 18, 2010

Teaser Tuesday--First Teaser of my novel "Arrow of the Mist"

Okay, here's the first teaser...

Granda Luis halted and turned Dobbin to face his troop. The chilled air tugged at his cloak and swept through his winter white hair. His eyes glimmered from his face and the young trio drew their horses back a few steps.

“We’ve a straight and narrow trail ahead. We’ll go in single file—”

“A narrow trail?” Lia cut in. “But, I thought it’d be some kind of…well, secret passage or something. How is it that only you and Grandma made it in safe? Why didn’t others just follow behind, track your steps?”

“Ah, there were many that tried.” His voice turned morose. “Even after all m’warnings. Men hovering in the wooded outskirts, creeping in the grasses, waiting till I was snug enough within the fog before charging in behind me, their lives over before I could utter a word. Because you see, like with most gates, there are guards.”

Lia’s eyes widened and Wynn coughed.

Granda Luis added, “But not to worry, our passage was assured long ago.”

Lia opened her mouth, but held her tongue as Granda turned Dobbin around and headed him toward the perilous boundary. Guards, she thought. How was that possible? The notion of it chilled her like an icy deluge. Then the words from the Grimoire echoed inside her head, “Fogged, bogged gates of Brume, barrier to my home; timeless, faceless watchers loom, but I am allowed to roam.”


  1. I have trouble giving feedback on fantasy b/c it's not my thing, but I do like seeing the scene from what I assume is a kid's perspective. Glad you joined in! :)

  2. Little different from earlier version I read, but still establishes the mood well. And teasing us with the mysterious guards, well done! Aren't you glad you posted, it's one more excuse to be obsessive, checking for comments!

  3. "Because you see, like with most gates, there are guards." Ooo, ominous! I like it :) Great first teaser! I'd keep reading, hehe

  4. The guards do give us an ominous feeling.

  5. I can't wait to hear more:) How is your trumpeter bee? - Rachel

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  7. I forgot to ask, why did Wynn cough? Was he choking on his spit in surprise or something?

  8. Thanks guys for all your comments! Yeah, Wynn was choking on the idea of guards ;-)).